Feb

14

Why I Hate Valentines Day

Filed Under Babbling, Writings/Rants 

Yes folks, its true. If you’ve heard me rant about this one in years past, you’re going to hear it again.

I hate Valentines Day. I truely honestly do. See, I’ve also got a thing against the commercialization of most holidays, but Valentine’s Day especially gets me going.

There are many possible origins of where it comes as a holiday from the roots of St. Valentine. Being Jewish, I never really got into the whole Saints and Priest things, I sort of just make the vicar and the little boy jokes and snicker as much as I can at the confessional booths. The idea of saying a few prayers and being absolved of whatever wrong-doings you did is amusing, but this is coming from a guy who doesn’t eat for a day and begs to G-D to be put into the Book of Life each year, so I have no room to judge. Of course, there is that whole “asking around for forgiveness for humanly transgressions” before that part…

Needless to say, there are a lot of great ideas about today as a whole. The main idea is this great concept of loving each other. My friend Kevin Allen has invited me to “James Taylor Day” on Facebook these past few years, and I really like that idea. But the generic “Valentines” idea where we add in Hallmark and Russell Stovers to the mix? I don’t think so.

Commercialization, red hearts, candy, roses, cards, stuffed animals, everything just has swamped out the meaning behind this. I’ve seen advertisements for today as Singles Awareness Day or even more advertisements for the Vagina Monologues. Everyone wants to assign some meaning to it or assign something to their life. Its all endless sinks of money. Why do we need to do these special things on this particular day out of the year? Why can’t we just do it when we spontaneously see fit? I already spent the damn money on the engagement ring, and the wedding rings, and I already make my wife dinner and do the dishes and laundry on a regular basis, so why do I need to conform to these consumer standards?

For me in my life, the only time I’ve been in a relationship on Valentine’s Day? Since 2003 when I was with Sarah. I never had a casual dating partner or was in a relationship with the exception of my wife. Oh sure, I had a good friend or a close friend from time to time, but I always hated the day and wanted to have someone to shower with all of the monetary anchors that we see as staples of this event. The flowers, the chocolates, the cards, the huge stuffed teddy bears.

Just. Stop.

Now that I’ve had a Valentine for the past few years, I don’t care about the holiday. I really don’t like the fact that I’m expected to perform to these conformist standards of keeping this revelry in consumer extortion going. And even though my wife knows how much I hate this “holiday,” I know I’d be deep up shit creek if I didn’t do anything for it.

So as you’re reading this, friendly reader, I can tell you that my wife will probably soon find the small stuffed dog keychain and the card that I left in her lunch box. Sure, its not much, but its what I needed to do to show her that I do love her, and I do recognize today is special.

But the true fact of the matter is, why should we care about it because its today? I’d like for everyone who’s reading this to know plain and simple: I appreciate you and I care for you each and every day out of this year. So thank you for caring for me, and let’s remind each other of that daily. That’s to my single friends and my relationship-bound friends. I make no distinguishment. As long as you have a friend, you’re never alone.

Let’s do this not with a cardboard cartoon valentine, or a lacy heart, or a box of chocolates and a teddy bear, but with a sincere call or text message to those you care about. Because that’s the true meaning of today: telling those you care about that you really do care about them. If we can remember that, I’d say we’re doing a pretty good job.

Comments

2 Responses to “Why I Hate Valentines Day”

  1. Moonpanther on February 14th, 2008 2:01 pm

    I can see your point about the commercialization, but I have to argue with you on the “let’s show each other how much we love each other every day” aspect.

    Don’t get me wrong, I agree with the sentiment. But the point of Valentine’s Day is that this is a reminder to go that extra mile. If your wife comes home every day to an orchestra of blue instruments, then it’s normal, it’s a part of what you do to show how much you love her, and while she appreciates it, it loses its luster after a while.

    Rather, this reminds people that every once in a while, even if it’s only one day a year, you should do something special that you don’t do a lot. This gives a standard date on which a person should really think about how much they love another person, and try and find a way to express that. Most of the time, that way falls way short of the mark, but the effort endears it.

    What I’m trying to say is that we should never let those we love forget that we love them. We should treasure them every day. But once or twice a year, we should try and let them know, fully aware that there are no words or no single action that can truly express what we’re feeling, just how wonderful we think they are.

    It doesn’t have to be with a card and candy. It can be a simple as a flower, or a story, or even a stuffed dog keychain and a card in the middle of the work day. But it should be just a little more than you would normally do.

  2. Adam on February 14th, 2008 5:11 pm

    Oh, I fully and wholeheartedly agree that you should go the extra mile every day. I think that it shouldn’t be one day like this.

    The problem with having it a day like this, is that there’s now a standard out there which folks can compare themselves to. While I did all I could do, and its all that I know is enough, in the back of my mind knowing all of the flowers and gratuitous displays that are “above and beyond” the little that I’ve done? Makes the meaning lost.

    Not that it is lost, but I don’t agree or appreciate the standardization of having it one day. And I don’t like the commercialization of it.

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    Thanks for stopping by, folks! My name is Adam J. Cohen, and I'm a guitarist/songwriter in Champaign, IL, recently relocated from Orlando, FL where I'm a UCF grad. Here, you'll find vignettes on my life, setlists from open mics and reviews, and whatever else crosses my mind. Enjoy!