From yesterday to today…
Yesterday, I picked up my guitar for the first time in a few weeks and played about half an hour. And it was interesting because as much as I used to love doing it, it was just work for me then. I didn’t derive anything from it. I was “going through the motions.” Playing guitar used to be such a release and something I enjoyed beyond everything, and to have it just feel so “blah”? What’s happening to me?
I think, quite honestly, its the stress. Its the atmosphere I was in.
I used it as a study break and I didn’t feel like it really. I had a small tickle for it, but not the urge to pick up that guitar and let it loose. And I’m hoping that when finals and this semester are all over, I’ll have a little less pressure when I’m on the job hunt that it can go back to being that relaxation. Heck, I’m even hoping that when I’ve got that job secured and I’m working after graduation that I can let it be that relaxation that it used to be.
Because, as I was telling a friend last night, there’s no greater release than playing. There’s a feeling that I cannot put into words at all about being on that stage or just being somewhere with a guitar in hands and knowing that what I’m doing isn’t just putting a smile on my face, but I’m impacting those around me. Even if its just barely hearing me through a wall or the next room over, or its someone blasting one of my songs as they’re away from home and hearing the words and feeling not so alone? There’s something to that that’s just plain amazing…
I’m debating heading to campus a little earlier than my class tonight and spending an hour or so at the fountain on campus, seeing I won’t have much longer to do that…
